It's nice to see how far I've come. I remember that exactly a year ago I was being harassed by he who will not be named anymore so badly until I was throwing up in a parking lot. I was a depressed mess, and I let people mess with me so easily. I let others control my life.

I am much more self aware now. Yesterday I "ended" things with the guy I had been hooking up with since April simply because I could feel myself growing semi-attached and I knew that would never be what this was, so out of respect for myself I ended it. To my surprise, he was so understanding and HELPFUL in response. He said, "If you take anything from this it should be that you deserve respect and you should feel comfortable being open about your feelings and if you aren't because you're worried a guy isn't going to respect them then you shouldn't be involved with them anyways." WOW! That statement is so true and lately that's how I've been trying to live my life. Last year I was that girl who was to scared to speak up for herself. Now I demand respect and I communicate openly and am so much happier. I still have so much to experience to learn and I'll cross that bridge when I get there, but looking back at exactly a year ago, I have grown so much. I have become a little more selfish- in a good way. I'm learning what's good for me, and I'm speaking up for what I want. That's how it should be. You need to fight for yourself! I've been scared lately because I feel that I could drop anyone so easily, when my junior year I tried to keep everyone close to me, even if they were toxic. It's a little scary, feeling so different from who you used to be. I think I'll find a good balance sometime soon though.

Glad I'm not in the place I was on July 1st, 2014.