Sometimes I still really question my judgement. After all I've learned, I still seem to make mistakes. Last week I ended up in a pretty bad part of Chicago because this guy I know invited me to a party. He's never really said much about himself, but he seemed super interested in me and he seemed really nice. He wasn't part of the North Shore bubble. I liked that. He's my age, yet he lives such a different life. Anyways, I show up, and it's just such a different world. People snorting drugs off tables, meanwhile I'm holding my car keys being the designated driver. I know no one at the party but him. He holds on to me all night, calling me beautiful and all this shit, until one second he just doesn't. He goes on to talk about how he thinks I should go, that he only "hangs out with dimes" and that he'll probably never see me again. Did I forget to mention that he told me earlier in the night that he dropped out of high school at age 16 and has to intent on going back? ever? He treated me like I was so gross. Like I wasn't good enough.

It's no secret that I don't think I'm beautiful. I'm not going to lie, I've been called hot many times. I have boobs and an ass, it's not that surprising that I'd hear that. But I've never really thought I was pretty. But to hear that out of someone who, quite honestly, is going nowhere, and have him think he's SO much better than me? What a JOKE. I drove to a terrible neighborhood where I knew no one, and that's what he's going to say? HA.

I'm just glad I didn't get killed or something, quite honestly. I could be upset about how I completely misjudged this guy, and I could get super self conscious about the comments he made to me. Or I could realize that I'm going to be around 20,000 new college guys, and that I won't even remember this odd and ridiculous night.

I'm growing. Slowly but surely.

PS- I don't recommend making the decision I made haha.